Bowe Bergdahl Says He Was Tortured in Captivity http://gawker.com/bowe-bergdahl-says-he-was-tortured-in-captivity-1587994836

The Shield Is No More: Seth Turns His Back on His Brothers

Joe Haines 6-3-14

@LJ_YOHAUNCE

Swerves are nothing new to the world of professional wrestling.  From the glass shattering breakup of the Rockers, to Undertaker getting betrayed at the efforts of his own FATHER, or the unbelievable alliance of Stone Cold Steve Austin and Mr. McMahon, swerves are forever remembered as earth shattering moments that changed the landscape of the company at that point in time.  It’s something us, as fans, would have never seen coming.  They are moments that keep me coming back for more as it makes the world of wrestling feel more like a storyline in The Game of Thrones universe than a story in the WWE Universe.  With all that being said, it still doesn’t make them any easier to accept.

As the dust still settles on one of the biggest swerves in WWE history, many people are still in disbelief of what happened.  On the June 2^nd episode of RAW, Seth Rollins, the Architect of The Shield, spit in the face of his fellow brothers.   Set to the melody of thunderous chair shots, Triple H’s “plan B” maliciously attacked Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose as the final moments of The Shield unfolded before our eyes as the ringleader of Evolution mouthed “I Win”.  As many of us inevitably saw the disassembly of The Shield coming at some point in the future, the majority of us never saw it happening quite like this.  Seth Rollins has become the newest member of Evolution, and as Triple H’s super group gains an exciting, budding superstar, we can only assume that The Shield will slowly drift into obliteration.  So where does that leave Rollins, Reigns, and Ambrose going forward? 

If history can tell us anything; being hand-picked to be in Evolution is a big fucking deal.  They remind us on a weekly basis that between Batista, Orton, and Mr. Helmsley, Evolution has a combined 31 world championships.  With that type of championship pedigree set around you, it would be asinine to think that Seth Rollins isn’t destined for bigger and better things.  We all can see that Rollins is a magician inside the squared circle.  His moves are extremely exciting, he is a great technical wrestler, and he sells every move as if he was getting hit with a Stone Cold Stunner.  But is he the right choice for this heel faction?  When I think of Evolution, I think of ruthless, hard hitting, powerful wrestling, not front flips and flying off titan-trons.  It’s an interesting selection; one that I thought was more of a fit for Ambrose (the obvious choice for a breakout heel of the group).  But, as we move into the future, Rollins can only go up from here. 

As many of us have seen over the course of the past few years, Roman Reigns is designed for a championship-filled future.  He’s got the look, the lineage, and a powerful and exciting in-ring skill set.  These are the ingredients that make an excellent champion in Vince McMahon's eyes.  In a few years, don’t be shocked to see every child under the age of 15 wearing a Roman Reigns t-shirt.  The guy could be as marketable as poster boy John Cena if it is done correctly.  As over as he is right now,  the former powerhouse of The Shield's transition from a valuable team member to main-event superstar will be effortless.   Expect Reigns to remain baby-face during this transition as the lack of main-event faces in the company will make Reigns a great addition to a roster that is currently starving for topflight good-guys.  The Sky’s the limit for Reigns.  As long as he improves his promo skills, he should be a top star in no time flat.

Dean Ambrose, on the other hand, is the wild-card in this whole situation.  After his time with The Shield is finished, what do you possibly do with him?  He does have a few tools at his disposal.  1.) He is arguably the better man on the microphone in comparison to his fellow hounds of justice.  2.) He has a frantic, erratic, and psychotic ring style that we haven’t quite seen before.  These, I believe, are the pieces for makings of a great heel in the fourth coming years.  But the only way that they could possibly pull this off is if they give him the mic time to succeed.  With a talent like Ambrose, he is not going to win fans over just by wrestling in the same way that Reigns has, for example.  He’s going to have to talk his way into their good graces.  It will – just like most WWE Superstars – take a great feud in order to push him in the right, upward, trajectory if he ever wants to be in a main event.  But I’m afraid without a good program, Mr. Ambrose will be set on the back burner and placed on the list of “wrestlers no one knows what to do with”, which would be a shame, because there is a hell of a lot of talent there.

But all of this worry and future speculation could be for not.  At the time of this writing, the split happened less than 24 hours ago, and you can expect a feud between the remaining Shield members and the new and improved Evolution to happen over the course of the next month or two.   Who’s to say that The Shield won’t rebuttal the loss of Rollins with the addition of someone else?  A new, third member of The Shield would, in my opinion, be unnecessary based on the fact that, to me, The Shield seemed to be their own cohesive piece, not a combination of interchangeable parts.  But, you can never rule out the possibility of a mystery member (CM Punk anyone?  No?  Yeah, I’ll shut up now).  You also cannot rule out the potential for a double cross on Rollins’ part.  Just like Daniel Bryan before him, Rollins may be playing a game (see what I did there?) in order to get closer to his enemies.  They could also have Ambrose and Reigns run as a tag team for a while, but that would defeat the purpose of splitting them up in the first place.  

Who knows?  Your guess is as good as mine at this point.  But there is one thing for sure, the WWE knows what they are doing, and they’re proving it time and time again.  The balls that they show in order to split up  a fan favorite, money making faction for the sake of a new story line shows that they have us in mind.  Sure, there are a few squandered superstars based on poor booking that we'd like to see have a little bigger piece of the spotlight (Ziggler, anyone?), but you can’t have everyone vying for a WWE Title.  It is story development like this that keeps me coming back to the WWE week after week.  And with the upward trajectory that the young talent is going, It’s an exciting time to be a wrestling fan.  It is just unfortunate that it has to come at the expense of one of the greatest wrestling factions in the history of the business.  Good bye, Hounds of Justice.  We barely knew you.

Joe Haines
@LJ_YOHAUNCE
The Common Man Wrestling Fan

Three Takeaways From RAW: 2/24/14

Joe Haines 2-24-14 

@LJ_YOHAUNCE

As much as you may hate John Cena, he being "hurt" (if legitimate) diminishes the Wrestlemania hype for his match with Bray Wyatt. 

  

When Cena came out to challenge the Wyatts to put up or shut up, he bit off a bit more than he could chew with the hillbillied trio.  After Bray Wyatt cut one of his incredible promos, the Wyatts jumped on Cena like a pack of hyenas attacking a gazelle.  Unfortunately for Cena his knee was injured after an awkward fall in which Eric Rowan twisted his knee on the way down to the mat. 

If this is for real, where does the WWE go from here?  This match would have been huge for the up and coming Wyatt, and the fact that he may not be facing Cena at Wrestlemania diminishes this meteoric push that he has been receiving as of late.  

After the confrontation with Cena happened, Bray Wyatt and Roman Reigns had a one on one match that eventually escalated to every member of the Shield and the Wyatt family getting involved.  It seems that the WWE’s plan B would be to have a rematch of the Wyatt’s and the Shield’s classic match that took place at Elimination Chamber.  

It will be interesting to see where this goes from here.  If it is a work, though, let’s just hope that Super Cena doesn't return from a complete knee repair in two weeks having had "never gave up" and pins every single Wyatt Family member while still hobbling around on crutches. 

Why the in the hell is Batista not a heel yet? 

Ever since this out of shape, has-been walked down the ramp and into the WWE ring, after a four year hiatus, he has been booed and hated on without remorse. You can tell that he's growing more and more frustrated with the reactions he has been receiving from the WWE fans.  You can see him regularly trash talking individuals in the crowd as well pretending to cry just to rub in the fact that we are not getting what we want.  He even goes out of his way to point at "Boo-tista" signs that fans have made all in the name of rubbing it in our faces.

If the WWE would to turn him heel this would all make better sense for his character, but a face that disrespects the crowd is just a bad idea.  After his bout with Del Rio at the beginning of the show he told the crowd that “it doesn’t matter if they boo him or cheer him”, and that they should just “deal with it”.   You see, there is a big difference between hating a character because he’s a heel and hating a character because we don’t want to see him in the ring.  Friday on Smackdown he is to address the crowd in response to the way he is being perceived by the WWE Universe, but with the edited crowd reactions that the Friday night show is notorious for, it will be easy to see which way the WWE is heading.  If they keep him face, they are looking to take the Cena rout with him, which is idiotic. 

Well, we’re getting Triple-H vs Daniel Bryan at Wrestlemania.  That’s fine…I guess.

We all hoped that after once again being so close to winning the WWE World Heavyweight Championship that Daniel Bryan would be somehow thrust into the main event at Wrestlemania in hopes of saving whatever credibility it had left.  Well, they threw that right out the window and stubbornly stuck to what they originally had planned all along (well, technically stuck to what they had planned after Punk left).

It’s not that this match can’t be a good match.  It most likely will be.  But the problem is that the WWE keep’s refusing to give the fans what they want to see.  Daniel Bryan winning the belts at Wrestlemania would be one of the biggest moments in wrestling history, but instead he is going to face off with the man that has been screwing him over since Summer Slam.  It makes perfect sense story wise.  It just sucks that the slow burn of Daniel Bryan winning the Championship is still burning hotter than ever now.  We want some satisfaction eventually.   You have to admit that this is way better than Bryan vs Sheamus – which is what was originally planned for Wrestlemania.  But who knows, maybe Daniel Bryan will get his Extreme Rules moment instead…Ok, just typing that actually made me want to puke.  PLEASE COME BACK CM PUNK!  YOU ARE OUR ONLY HOPE!

Joe Haines

@LJ_YOHAUNCE

The Common Man Wrestling Fan

CM Punk Leaves WWE: A Blessing in Disguise?

Joe Haines -- January 29th, 2014

As the morning of January, 29^th 2014 was barely alive our world as WWE fans was hit with a Armageddon sized comet of breaking news.  One of the WWE’s favorite superstars, and arguably one of the top wrestlers in the locker room decided to call it quits.  Yes, the Second City Saint, CM Punk - after a heated exchange with WWE officials - told Vince McMahon on Monday afternoon before the RAW tapings that he was “going home.”  Since that announcement, CM Punk has been removed from the advertisements of any further shows, been un-followed by WWE on twitter (which might not seem like a lot, but other former wrestlers are still followed by the companies twitter account), and his WWE documentary “Best in the World” has been stripped off of Netflix for the time being. 

There are many rumors and speculations floating around about why the self proclaimed “Best in the World” decided to pack up his boots and head for his hometown of Chicago.  Many are claiming that the disagreement that was had between WWE officials and CM Punk was due to the fact that his main event spot at Wrestlemania XXX was taken by the current return of part-timer Batista.  Punk has always had a problem with the part-timer idea mainly because he believes that it is a slap in the face to those in the WWE locker room who bust their asses all year only to get overshadowed by someone who may draw in casual fans.  There are also factors or injury, fatigue, and overall burnout as an effect of his overwhelming work schedule. There could be any number of factors that could play into his departure, but we will only learn more in the days to come.   

But, as we all know, take everything you hear from the WWE with a grain of salt until it is written in stone.  For all we know, this could be an elaborate work done by the WWE creative in order to enhance any depth to Punk’s current storyline with the Authority, or he could just be getting some well deserved time off before he makes his final run towards his expiring contract in July.  If this is a work, the WWE has definitely got the attention of all their fans as they are waiting on baited breath to see what unfolds next.  Whether he is actually gone for good or a work, we can all agree that it is only piling onto the current shit tsunami that the WWE is currently facing.   With the flop of the Batista return to the disappointment fans are having with Daniel Bryan’s booking decisions, the WWE is furiously rewriting and trying to salvage whatever it can to save the upcoming arrival to Wrestlemania XXX. 

Even though CM Punk leaving is quite possibly the worst thing to happen to the WWE in years, could there be a silver lining to all of this? 

Let’s just pretend that CM Punk will be officially gone for the foreseeable future, where could the WWE possibly turn to fill in the shoes of Punk?  We can first take a look at rising superstar Daniel Bryan.  Sure, he’s been featured in many RAW main events, and we all know about the #yesmovement that is happening currently, but he may have an even heavier involvement in the company now that there needs to more show filled.  I would not be surprised - as a result to all the negativity that the WWE has shooting up their assholes – if Daniel Bryan gets the belt put on him sooner rather than later.  The WWE needs to make up for its mistakes NOW!  The only sensible solution that I can think of that will make the WWE universe extremely happy for once is if they finally let Daniel Bryan win the Championship and walk in to Wrestlemania as the face of the company.   Or, if he doesn’t walk into WM with the title, he would at least have a shot for it somewhere down the road.  There are also words of Bryan taking CM Punks place in the feud with Triple-H and that could finally come to a conclusion at Wrestlemania.  Either way, we are going to have to see big things from Daniel Bryan at this point. 

Another great thing that could come from this is the fact that the WWE will have no choice but to feature rising stars more often in big story lines.  Expect the Roman Reigns, Bray Wyatt, Cody Rhodes, and Dolph Zigglers of the world to finally get a push towards the top of the card.  Fans are going to want to see something they care about soon.  These talented guys will for sure help ease the wounds of the fans, if the WWE so chooses to go that route. 

But most importantly of all, I believe, once and for all, that the WWE has no choice but to listen to what the fans want.  There has been too many boos shouted at pay-per-views.  RAW shows have been hijacked by Daniel Bryan chants.  The last thing that Vince McMahon wants to hear during the main event of the biggest show of the year is 80,000 boos cascading down on the performers.  It would ruin his product.  With all the hype shoved down our throats about the WWE Network, CM Punk leaving doesn’t make it any easier to swallow.  They will need to do something to get fans back on board with the product. 

I don’t play fantasy booker.  I don’t like to publish hypotheticals and my dream scenarios, but I have a very good hunch that we will see big changes – big fan approving changes – coming real soon.  CM Punk leaving is a definite blow to any fans involvement in the product, but we can thank him for falling on a silver sword that could turn this company around in the mean time.  

But for now, let's remember the Second City Saint for what he did to make wrestling great. Thank you, Phill Brooks. 

Joe Haines

The Common Man Wrestling Fan

@LJ_YOHAUNCE

The Royal Rumble 2014: The Significant of the Aftermath

Joe Haines -- January 26th, 2014

As we all know, last night the 27^th annual Royal Rumble took place in Pittsburg, PA.  Also, as everyone that ordered the PPV or read comments on twitter know, people lost their fucking minds in result to the questionable booking that took place at the start of the Road to Wrestlemania.  Apart from a tremendous match of the year candidate between Daniel Bryan and Bray Wyatt, there was a lot to be disappointed in with the nights program, and the live crowd in attendance made it known that the WWE Universe is upset with what was presented. 

The WWE World Heavyweight Championship match between John Cena and champion Randy Orton was not an extremely terrible match by any means, but it did not live up to the “greatest rematch in WWE history” hype that that it was billed to be.  The live Pittsburg crowd let it be known that what they were seeing is not what we as a collective fan base want to see anymore.  There were chants of “this is awful” and “we want Divas” ringing throughout the area during the duration of the match.  I want to make things absolutely clear – I do not condone chanting “this is awful” at any point during a match because these guys work night in and night out all year to entertain us all while risking their bodies in order to do so.  But, I will agree with that crowd because it was absolutely pitiful and boring.  The only thing that really saved this match was a John Cena beat down at the hands of the upstart Wyatt family.  This, hopefully, signifies that this is the end of the long overplayed John Cena vs. Randy Orton feud which seems to have happened thousands of times before. 

Regardless of how bad the title bout was, the main source of resentment for last night’s pay-per-view was what happened, or more importantly, didn’t happen during the battle royal main event.  The Royal Rumble was panning out just as good as it could have gone with the inclusion of NXT upstarts and WWE legends like Kevin Nash and JBL, but the most isolated case of mutiny came at the number 30 spot in the Rumble.  Myself, the Pittsburg crowd, and every other WWE fan were anticipating the inclusion of Daniel Bryan in the Royal Rumble.  But when the music hit, and the number 30 participant appeared, we were greeted by Rey Mysterio followed by the most overwhelming cascade of boos that hasn’t been heard in a long, long time. 

The source of frustration from the fans in attendance wasn’t that Rey Mysterio was included, but its source derives from the fact that the heads of the WWE creative team continues to ignore the fact that Daniel Bryan is the most important superstar on the roster.  They continue to ignore the fact that throughout the night, even after his match, chants of “Daniel Bryan” were heard from this live crowd, and not having your biggest superstar in the ring for the biggest battle royal of the year is inexcusable.  The WWE had every opportunity to make this happen.  We had the “privledge” of see Kevin Nash in the rumble, but we’ve seen this before, and no one really cares about him anymore.  We had the “honor” of seeing JBL’s first ever royal rumble entry…but it lasted all of three seconds.  We were “entertained” by the sight of a dwarf dressed in a bull costume flipping and spinning around the ring.  But we could have definitely done without any of these inclusions if just one spot in this match was reserved for the company’s biggest star. 

When the match was reaching its conclusion, we were starting at two individuals that solidified what the WWE universe loves, and what the WWE Universe hates.  Roman Reigns, the exceptional young talent and cousin of The Rock was standing face to face with Batista, a man who was absent from WWE television for four years while he pursued a movie career.  Even with Reigns’ character persona being a heel, the crowd was 100 percent behind the youngin’ and absolutely resented the sight of Batista in the final two.  But, when it was all said in done, Batista threw the man who set a new Royal Rumble record for eliminations over the top rope and an anger bubbled over from this crowd in the likes of which I have never seen.

There are a few ideas to take away from this situation:

1.) The WWE creative team showed us last night that they have the biggest set of balls on the face of the planet.  In order to ignore the fact that every crowd that you have been in front of recently has been going absolutely nuts for a certain individual on your roster and you decide to not include him in one of the biggest matches of the year shows that you will do what you want and not care what anyone has to say about it.

2.) The fans are beginning to hate the idea of bringing back part timers and forcing them directly into the main event spot.  Fans didn’t like when the Rock came back and stripped the belt away from CM Punk, and fans definitely don’t like the fact that Batista came back to headline Wrestlemania and take a spot from a fan favorite that deserves it over anyone else.   I hate this idea as well.  When the WWE asks these individuals to make a comeback in the company, the Rocks and Batistas of the world hold so much contractual power that if their stipulations are not met, they would have never returned in the first place. 

The Royal Rumble should be a match where WWE builds up underutilized talent and give the younger guys on the roster a chance to make a major impact in the company, and the fact that the WWE wasted this opportunity on a superstar that certainly looks like he lost a lot of his luster over the past four years is ludicrous.  It wasn’t like anyone was really clamoring for a Batista return, were they?  It also doesn’t help that they debuted him on the RAW before the Royal Rumble.  If he was a surprise entrant, and won that way, there would have been a larger reaction and a more positive one at that.  When you ignore the current stars on your roster and put everything in the corner of a part timer, that just shows that you could care less about the men that are busting their asses night in and night out.  It’s just bad for business.

3.) Most importantly though, it seems that the WWE Universe is fully behind these young guys and seem to want change in the worst way.  I speak for many fans when I say that we are sick of the same feuds and confrontations that we have seen for well over five years.  The energy that was behind Reigns last night was incredible.  People love and want to see him.  People want to see Daniel Bryan.  People want to see Dolph Ziggler.  People want to see Damien Sandow.  People want to see Bray Wyatt.  People want to see the Shield.  People want to see the stars that you have in your roster.  That should be the biggest eye opener for the WWE and they should embrace the fact that they have money makers in that locker room and they need to utilize them.

While WWE is preparing for RAW tonight, and presumably have been working furiously throughout the night to fix whatever they fucked up last night, expect to see some major changes leading up to Wrestlemania.  What the crowd did last night should be embraced by all other live fans.  If you hate what is going on in front of you, realize that your voice is a vote and you need to let that vote be heard.  And if filling the area with chants of wrestlers that you want to see is the way to do it, then by god everyone should do it.  But, if the WWE refuses to fix what happened last night, and leave the product be, then we have a major problem on our hands as we will virtually see Vince McMahon and Triple-H slap each and every WWE fan in the face as they continue to do whatever the hell they want to do.   I hope change is coming, and I hope it’s coming soon. 

Joe Haines

The Common Man Wrestling Fan 

@LJ_YOHAUNCE

Royal Rumble 2014: A Drinking Game and Preview

Joe Haines - January 26th, 2014

The road to Wrestlemania is finally upon us.  All the big named part-timers like Batista and Brock Lesnar are back in action and the faint sound of the Undertaker's bells toll in the night air.  It's a wonderful time to be a wrestling fan.  Tonight, for our first stop on the road to Wrestlemania, we will find out who is headlining the "Showcase of the Immortals" as we watch to see who outlasts 29 other superstars in the 27th annual Royal Rumble match.  Now, you can simply watch this incredible pay-per-view, or you can enjoy a few cocktails while doing so.  If you are like any of my college roommates, you are desperately looking to turn anything into a drinking game.  So, I have created a list of different rules to help you catch a buzz while giant men in spandex get hurled over nylon ropes.  Also, check out my preview and predictions below.  Thanks.  And as always, be sure to like, share, and comment on this if you want to join the discussion.

Rules:

-- Every time a person is eliminated – 1 drink

This is pretty self explanatory.

-- When the Great Khali gets eliminated (because we all know he will), your drink total should equal the amount of wrestlers that it took to eliminate The Punjabi Giant-Waste-of-Space.

God I hate The Great Khali.  The way he slides around the ring like a stroke victim made of wood makes me want to break 30 coffee cups over my head in rapid succession. So think of this drinking punishment as more of a celebration. 

-- If at any point during The Royal Rumble one of the commentators states the phrase “hanging on for dear life” – that will be 1 drink for you

Be ready to hear this at least five times. 

-- Whenever a Hall of Famer, or a legendary wrestler (one who is not on the current roster, or the WWE website) enters the rumble – 1 drink

The Royal Rumble is always filled with wrestlers from the past.  It always tickles that little nostalgia spot in all our hearts and it’s always welcomed.   I’m pulling extra hard for a Jake the Snake return tonight (all in thanks to DDP Yoga.  I cannot believe the overwhelming power that his program is having on ex-wrestlers.  This should be nationally funded).

Bonus multiplier:  If this legend or Hall of Famer eliminates any wrestlers, please take an additional drink for each eliminated wrestler.

-- If Chris Jericho makes a return during the rumble – take a god damn shot! 

I responded the same exact way from my lazy boy

There have been numerous rumors circulating that Jericho may be making his long awaited return to the WWE at the Rumble.  Just as he did last year when he reappeared, Y2J is making an appearance in the same city that is hosting the event, the night before the Royal Rumble.  Even more interesting is that his rock band, Fozzy, is currently off the road until May of this year.  This would be a window for him to come back and feud with the Authority using the whole “first ever Undisputed Champion’’ debacle that has been blowing up the internet since they reunited the titles. 

It makes sense, right?  To never mention Chris Jericho when they united the titles makes me wonder if this is all a giant work.  But WWE recently hasn’t been known to connect the dots in such a long and predetermined way.  One can only hope, right? And even if he doesn’t feud with the Authority, who cares?  Throw him in a feud with anyone and I’ll enjoy every single moon-sault of it.   This could not happen at all, as well.  He has been addressing the rumors via his twitter account for a month now, and it seems like he is dead set that he is not going to in attendance that evening.  But in a kayfabe filled world where you never know if anything is real or a work, I’m still hoping.

·        Bonus multiplier:  After you slam your shot, be the first to scream “RAW…IS…JERICHO!” and you can give out a drink to a person of your choosing.   

-- If (and when) Sheamus makes his WWE return in the Rumble – Two shots of Irish whisky.  One because I think he’s very boring and this will help you tolerate his paper white skin, and two because… well…the guy’s fucking Irish. 

Sheamus has been out since August ailing from a torn labrum, so it’s only fitting that he makes his return where he can get a better response than say a pre-announced episode of RAW.   Sheamus will be an interesting addition to the Rumble when he enters, but it’s nothing to get too excited about.  He isn’t going to win it.  If he does though:

·         Bonus multiplier: If Sheamus wins the Royal Rumble, throw your TV out of the window and break that whiskey bottle over your head.

It will be interesting to see who he starts to feud with.  There is a very ridiculous “Twitter Story Line” (which is a phrase that I totally made up, but it’s a storyline that is revolving around wrestlers actions on twitter) that involves Drew McIntyre hacking Sheamus’ twitter account.  McIntyre deleted Sheamus’s tweets.  McIntyre deleted his profile picture, and has replaced his name with “ing…….. Woad..”  I think this whole thing is ridiculous and just gives Sheamus a target for when he does come down to the ring for the Royal Rumble. Which brings me to my next rule

·         Bonus Multiplier 2:  If Sheamus does return to The Royal Rumble, take one drink if he eliminates Drew McIntyre. 

It isn’t that simple, is it? Probably….Yeah, most likely. 

--  If (and most likely, when) CM Punk gets eliminated -- take one drink for each of the remaining wrestlers in the Royal Rumble Match.

CM Punk is starting as the number one entrant in the Royal Rumble this year thanks to Kane and the Authority.  But being number one isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  Two people have won the match from the number one spot, those being Shawn Michaels and Chris Benoit.  Punk is deserving of a big push to the main event level eventually.  Thanks to it being Wrestlemania season, he will surely be one of the headliners at the Showcase of the Immortals…but it won’t be for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship.   No, I’m sorry Punk fans, the chances of CM Punk winning the Rumble are about as great as Stone Cold not slamming two beers together after a match.  It’s just not going to happen.  With every story line that he’s been involved with escalating to an eventual clash with Triple H, Punk already has a program set in stone for Wrestlemania.  But, that doesn’t mean that he’ll kick a little ass while he’s in the Royal Rumble.

·         Bonus Multiplier:  If CM Punk is named the Royal Rumble “Iron Man” and ends with a longer time inside the ropes than any other wrestler – Drink three.

They are not going to let CM Punk flounder and lose at the 15^th spot.  They will make sure that he makes it towards the end and gets screwed over by the Authority before it is all said and done. 

-- If at any point in time during the match Kofi Kingston almost gets eliminated but does something crazy to get back in the ring in order to keep himself alive – 2 drinks.

He’s hopped on an office chair to get back into the ring.  He’s walked on his hands to get back into the ring.  He’s even used other wrestlers as launching pads to get himself back in.  Something will happen.  It will be cool.

-- If Daniel Bryan enters the Royal Rumble – Drink until the “YES!” chants stop (I understand that this could last forever, but it’s a drinking game.  Sack up, pussy!)

Right now, the only part of the Royal Rumble that Daniel Bryan will be involved in is his match with Bray Wyatt.  There is no word what so ever about the bearded one being involved in the thirty man battle royal.  But who says that it couldn’t happen?  My bold prediction of the night is for Daniel Bryan to enter the Royal Rumble at number 30 and win!  There is no way that the WWE could afford to not have Daniel Bryan in the Main Event at Wrestlemania.  He is just way too over right now to not have him be in a match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship.  But there are also rumors of Daniel Bryan versus The Undertaker at Mania’ as well.  So who knows?  All I know is that Daniel Bryan has to be involved in some way or else it just wouldn’t feel right. 

·         Bonus Multiplier – If Daniel Bryan does enter in at number 30 – drink some more!  It’s Daniel Fucking Bryan!! YES! YES! YES!

RULES FOR THE SHIELD

The Shield is breaking up.  We know this to be true.  And if you don’t, shame on you and watch more wrestling.  Michael Cole has constantly been talking about “Cracks in the armor” and “not on the same page as of late”, CM Punk has done nothing but create a living hell for the trio ever since their match at TLC, and this such ruckus has caused them to try to prove to one another who can beat CM Punk and, ultimately, prove who is the better member of The Shield.  That’s great.  We all know that the WWE is pushing Roman Reigns through the roof at this point.  The crowd is behind him, and he’s spearing anyone that wears wrestling trunks/body suits/jean shorts/or face paint. Pretty much anyone that walks into the arena is getting speared.  That includes the janitors and the people running concessions.   Dean Ambrose is beginning to come off the rails more and more on a nightly basis, and Seth Rollins is beginning to prove that he’s a great in ring performer night in and night out.  But what happens to The Shield during the Rumble?

-- If at any point during the match the three members of The Shield begin attacking one another – take a drink

It’s bound to happen, right?  With everyone trying to win a shot at headlining Wrestlemania, and with the mentality of “It doesn’t matter during the Rumble. It’s every man for himself.  Brother vs Brother. Blood vs Blood”, there will definitely be an implosion inside the Hounds of Justice.

-- If Roman Reigns is the last remaining member of The Shield  – Take a drink

This is the most likely outcome seeing that he has proven to himself, his team, and the WWE Universe that he is the best member of the Shield. 

-- If Dean Ambrose is the last remaining member of The Shield – Take five drinks

This is also another very plausible outcome for this team.  Ambrose is known for being the sleaziest member of The Shield, so with that in mind, I can see him screwing over his partners during the match by throwing them over when they least expect it.   For example, Reigns could be looking over the ropes at someone he just eliminated and Ambrose comes over to throw him over, or he could be the final person in a group of three wrestlers to help push them out of the ring. 

-- If Seth Rollins is the last remaining member of The Shield – Take a shot

This is probably the least likely of outcomes for this faction.  Seth Rollins has been the person to take the pin-fall for the majority of The Shields losses.  He is also seen mostly getting tossed around in and out of the ring like a rag doll because of his great selling abilities.  But what really needs to eventually happen here is for WWE to book Rollins to look a little stronger than what he has portrayed.  Seth Rollins was the NXT Champion before he walked into the main roster of the WWE.  That has to stand for something.  He is one of the best in-ring workers on the roster right now and can hold his own on the microphone just fine.  There has to be some point in time where they decide to give Rollins a little push before they break this team up.  If they were to hypothetically end The Shield right now, Seth Rollins would have no momentum to build off of going forward.  So why not have him make an impact at the Rumble?  It makes some sense if they were to break The Shield up immediately after the Rumble.

-- If at any point Cody Rhodes and Goldust start fighting at the Rumble – Pour one out

Yes, pour one out for one of the greatest tag teams that we have seen in a very long time. Every match that these guys were involved in was tremendous.  Goldust looks like he turned the clock back about 20 years and Cody has never been better.  But all good things must come to an end, and so too will the Rhodes Brothers.  I do not believe that they will fully deflate at this PPV event, there will definitely be a seed planted for the future break up.  They face The New Age Outlaws in the pre-show, and I cannot see them losing the belts to those old bastards.  They will begin to not trust each other during the Rumble and lose the straps to another team down road a bit.  Maybe at Elimination Chamber?  Who knows?  But if they want a Cody vs Goldy at Wrestlemania like the rumors have been stating, this would be a perfect time to start showing some cracks in that foundation.  But I don’t want it to end…

-- If Batista wins the Royal Rumble – take a shot

Yes, Batista has returned and it’s great to have him back.  He adds some much needed star power to a WWE roster that so desperately needs it.  But when he came back on RAW this last week, he made it clear what his motivations are.  1.) To win the Rumble. 2.) To win the WWE Heavyweight Championship. 3.) To headline Wrestlemania.   You see, the WWE didn't bring Batista back to have him feud with Alberto Del Rio, or to work a secondary match at the Show of Shows. No, they brought him back to compete for a title.  If they keep him face, and have him square off against Randy Orton or Brock Lesnar, those will be incredible matches.  But if they eventually turn him heel, which he is better at in my opinion, he will face John Cena or maybe Daniel Bryan at Wrestlemania for the title.  Either scenario will be great but I don’t think Batista is going to lose the Rumble.  He is the odds on favorite and it makes the most sense to have him win.   

And there you have it.  Wrestlemania Season is in full swing and enjoy the next few months as the WWE will pour everything they have into building up some great Pay-Per-Views.

Joe Haines
The Common Man Wrestling Fan
@LJ_YOHAUNCE